Commitaphobics Journal
How To Sing The Blues
This step by step guide comes to us from Limp'n Penny Tim Lincoln. Part 3 of a 3 Part Series...
Thanks to Tim for being our Poster Child!
21. The following colors do not belong in the Blues: violet, beige, mauve (unless you’re truly desperate for a rhyme).
22. I don't care how tragic your life; if you own a computer, you cannot sing the Blues. You'd best destroy it. Fire, a spilled bottle of Mad Dog, or shotgun. Maybe your big ass woman just done sit on it. I don't care
23. Hey there, you can READ! This too be a big ol' problem. Most folks singin' the Blues ain't never had much a chance for education. In the Blues… the three R's stand for Railroads, Runnin' and Rehab.
24. It gots to be dark to sing the blues, preferably after midnight. Singin' da blues at noon is forbidden.
25. If none of the above works, try one last, pathetic stab at authenticity: name your guitar. Remember, Lucille is taken.